M: Hey, sit down with me for a minute.
D: Okay?
M: How was your day?
D: Fine.
M: You want a snack? I can whip us up a pizza.
D: No.
M: We have chips.
D: No. Can I go?
M: In just a minute. How are things with Jeremy?
D: Fine. Why? I know you hate him.
M: What? I don't hate him.
D: Whatever. You don't even say like hi when he comes over.
M: I do. Besides, he's practically a mute. He could say hello too, you know.
D: Why would he? He knows you hate him.
M: I told you, I don't hate him. I barely even know the boy.
D: K, so whatever. Can I go now?
M: No, wait. You never answered my question, how are things going?
D: I said fine.
M: Right, fine. Are you two serious?
D: We're not getting married or anything. God, I'm only 15. Are we done?
M: No. I have to ask you something.
D: You just asked something.
M: But I didn't get the answer I wanted.
D: You want us to get married? I thought you hated him.
M: I don't... Just, look, are you and Jeremy having sex or not?
D: Ew, God, Mom. Even if we were, which we're not, why would I tell you? You're like my mom. Ugh, disgusting. I'm going now.
M: Take the chips when you go.
A girl (G) hinting to her boyfriend (B) that she wants him to propose.
G: Do you think my finger's fat?
B: Huh, what'd you say?
G: My finger. Does it look fat?
B: Why? Did you jam it?
G: No. But it's like a size 9.
B: Fingers don't have sizes.
G: Yeah they do. Like that's the size ring someone would buy for me if they wanted to. A size nine.
B: Huh. Didn't know rings had sizes.
G: Yeah. And mine is a size nine. In case anyone was wondering.
B: That's nice.
G: Also if someone were to ask, I'd tell them to get platinum.
B: Uh huh.
G: So yeah, platinum. Size nine. And round. Don't you thing round diamonds are the best?
B: What?
G: Round diamonds.
B: Aren't diamonds shaped like diamonds?
G: No, some are round. And platinum. And size nine.
B: Oh yeah? That's awesome, baby.
No comments:
Post a Comment