My fantasy football

In my fantasy football game, I'd draft Don Draper as the quarterback. He'd play with a cigarette dangling out of his mouth and a bottle of whiskey stuffed in the leg of his pants.

The running backs would be Martha Stewart and Nancy Grace, dressed in matching pant suits and pumps. Both vicious enough to take someone's balls and run.

The wide receivers would be Bernie Madoff and the Hamburglar, in jail stripes and purple, respectively. Both have had years of practice at running and avoiding detection.

For a tight end, I'd choose Obama because, yes, he can do anything.

And as a floater, I'd need someone else who's multitalented. Therefore, I'd pick Liza Minnelli.

My entire defense would be kittens. Not ferocious ones, but extra cute ones. Their only play would be to flop over in the path of an oncoming running back. We may end up sacrificing one, but I believe the other team would have to forfeit due to their Michael Vick-ish actions.

The kicker would be David Beckham. With his shirt off. (I'm still a lady, after all.)

And as a bonus, Liz Lemon and Rose Nylund would head up the dance team and shake what they've got to songs from the soundtracks of John Hughes movies.


Captive audience

I've had to go to the mall two days in a row now. Yesterday, I noticed a man sitting in the same place I'd seen another man the day before. Presumably waiting for his wife to finish shopping. I thought, "This is a captive audience."

We should start marketing more to men in women's dressing rooms, at the little seats. Or in store lobbies or waiting areas. They have nothing to do and are probably bored out of their minds. They need something to buy too.


Social Iran

The two Twitterers I'm following from the ground in Iran - @Change_for_Iran and @mousavi1388 - haven't tweeted in 14 hours and 17 hours respectively. This makes me nervous.

I cannot imagine what it's like to have all forms of communication shut down. Or to be arrested or killed over 140 characters.

My generation has never had an uprising. What would have happened here if McCain had "won by a landslide" under suspicious circumstances? I'd like to think we would have voiced our concerns.

These are Flash Mobs with a purpose. These are letters from the resistance. These are inspiration.

The world is reading along, hoping for a happy end.