How to benefit from swine flu

(And other ways I'm cementing my place in Hell.)

As I was pulling my hand sanitizer out at lunch, I started to think about how companies like Purell could benefit financially from the swine flu. What other companies could see an upturn due to an epidemic?

Lysol - The new mace.
Campbell's soup - Stay quarantined longer.
Diamond Match Company - When in doubt, burn germs out.
Yellow Cab - Better odds than the subway.

And what about new business ventures?

Oxygen Tanks (They're not just for old people.)
Delousing Units - Connect easily to pressure washers - hey, as long as you're imprisoned.
Home testing kits - ESFT - Early Swine Flu Test

Seriously, I worry about these things more than most. It's in my personality. I mask it with humor. Also in my personality.

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